Tuesday, 15 February 2011

• Currently The Other Queen: A Novel By Philippa Gregory see related

  Post-Valentine's Day Reflections

  My church has issued a 5-day challenge: to write down statements that say "God ________ , and I did nothing to deserve it or earn it." My first statement: "God showed me what sacrificial love looks like, and I did nothing to deserve it or earn it."

  I thought of this yesterday, on Valentine's Day. I realized, once again, that I am done, completely done, with the casual hookup scene, using other people to get what I want and vice versa. I'm done with it because I always ended up lonelier than before. I'm done because I understand now that relying on other people for fulfillment is making other people into gods, and using them to serve yourself. I understand (and I wish I didn't) how people can be okay with lowering their standards for temporary gratification. It makes me sad to think that so many people don't understand what our bodies are worth.

  I'm just glad that I realize this now, and not ten years down the road. I wish that majority of society wasn't so content on settling. Settle for a friends-with-benefits relationship, in case a real one isn't in the plans for you. Settle for pleasure right now, because patience is overrated. You're young and you deserve it. We all somehow deserve everything that we want. This attitude is used regarding everything from relationships to jobs to a new outfit. I truly think that if we live with a consistent sense of entitlement, it will affect our relationships. We will demand things from people and be unwilling to go an extra mile if it costs us a little bit of happiness. I have faith in the goodness of humanity...I am tempted to lose it when I see my peers balk at the idea of self-sacrifice for a cause that's greater than a 'good time.' And I wouldn't have the nerve to say such a thing if I haven't lived through the consequences myself.

  I'm just so ridiculously thankful that there is Someone who showed me a way out of that life. I am so glad that Someone loved me enough to suffer for me even when I was selfish. That's what I think of when I imagine what love looks like.

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