Hmm- I'm a afraid I'm too cynical to believe in all that happening for me. :(

what a minute...I never had sex?!? WHAT??!!! OMG PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE A VIRGIN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!"

ROFLOL!!! That's hilarious!

@Coffee_Kaioken - Here's what I have to say to those who worry about being sexually compatible if they choose to wait until marriage: logically, if a man has a penis and a woman has a vagina, then BAM! They are sexually compatible! But on a serious note, the things that you mentioned may be valid concerns, however they are rooted in selfishness. The person (and by that I don't mean you necessarily, just in general) who worries about his or her marriage being unsuccessful because of what their partner may or may not like in the bedroom is thinking of HIS/HER wants, HIS/HER needs, and not those of their partner. What people need to realize is that sex does not make the marriage, it is only a part of it. What holds a marriage together is mutual love, honesty, and respect of one another, and constantly putting your own desires last and putting your spouse before you. Humans don't come with a test-driving policy, they are not meant to be disposable if they fail to meet our expectations. And when all else fails...well, sex therapists exist for a reason

The controversy among Christians that you mentioned all boils down to how the Bible is interpreted. Those who believe that sex outside of marriage is okay fail to understand it as God designed it: a bond between husband and wife. If the word of God is true (and that is an entirely different debate altogether) then His views on sex do not change even if ours do. As Christians, we can't pick and choose the parts of the Bible that appeal to us and ignore the rest.

I'm not going to modify my beliefs on the off chance that I may never find anyone who agrees with me. Not being a virgin isn't going to be a deal-breaker for me. I realize that everyone has a past they can't change. I am coming to terms with the fact that while marriage is something that is important to me, my life won't be lacking if it never happens. I may miss out on some wonderful things that come with it but ultimately my satisfaction isn't going to be found in a man that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. My satisfaction is with God, and God alone.

I'm just curious what it will take for you to lose your virginity to someone if you aren't married to them, in light of what you wrote in your Datingish article. I respect you for wanting to save your virginity even if not for marriage, but what are the conditions that must be met in order for you to even consider it?

@Coffee_Kaioken - No, it is absolutely NOT okay! Just kidding, feel free to stop by any time!

And thank you very much for your compliment

@Coffee_Kaioken - Wow, seriously? That's strange. I get told all the time that I look 12. I still get carded going into R-rated movies, even. Maybe you'd change your mind if you actually met me in person. I guess I just had the right angle and lighting or whatever when I took that picture...weird.

I'm late with this but it is better late than never.

Well, first it'll take trust. I'll have to know she's not playing any games, she can't be too mysterious because I have to know and trust that she's going to be in my life for some time. If our relationship is mostly flirtatious and I don't know about her history, her exes (I've accepted that it's going to be just as hard to find a more conservative girl as it is a conservative guy, so of course she'll be experienced, but if she's slept with more than, let's say, 6-7...), her family, friends, what she does with her time, it can't happen.

Secondly, she definitely has to be somewhat attractive. I don't mean look like a model, obviously, but I won't tolerate someone who lets themselves go. And it also depends on if she's patient, if she also has standards, and she can't just say "Yeah, I'm saving it for marriage, yeah, I agree, yeah, me too" - I pick up on this every single time a girl has said it and later on she turned out to just be trying to go along with something, weak minded, and no individualism.

Third, definitely show some maturity. She can't be all giddy and hyper and ditzy 100% of the time. I'd like her to have actual opinions, thoughts, and be an individual.

She can't be a ridiculous person, like, she can't be attracted to a guy only the moment he stops talking to her and turns the other way, and then stops feeling attraction for him when he turns back around and acknowledges her.

She can't be impossible to work with, and I can't be on edge feeling like I have to keep some sort of mysterious tension or act like some sort of suave, smooth, PUA to keep her attention. I won't like if I sense her looking me up and down when we first meet and I know that she's "sizing me up in 5 minutes" or whatever. I'll definitely internet-search her and anything linked with her e-mail, and if she has stuff on her journal or social profile page that I find sketchy (like posts on her profile from some weird guy that she isn't explaining things to me about), I won't immediately break up with her over it but I'm not doing anything too personal.

Basically, I have to know her. I have to know most, if not all (of course you're not going to know absolutely everything) of the important and crucial parts about her, I have to trust that the relationship isn't going to end right afterwards (unless we both find out that she's moving away somewhere for keeps and we were extremely close until the shitty situation came around, and we want one last night to remember each other by), I have to know that she isn't employing manipulative psychological techniques that those dating books sell you - basically, genuinity, to sum it all up.

And I don't think that comes after marriage.

@ModernBunny - Oh, I've found it...just not the let's-settle-down-and-make-babies kind of love...yet

It's great to see a new Christian with so much understanding. You are right on that we can't just accept certain parts of scripture and ignore the ones we don't like. I've seen so many that don't understand that.

Keep waiting and trusting in God and He'll give you better than you could ever imagine.

@Tom@revelife - Just because I understand we can't pick and choose doesn't mean I'm not guilty of it from time to time...everyone is to a certain extent, and sometimes it's easier to know something instead of actually try and understand what the purpose of it is, if that makes sense. Everything I understand at this point has been made clear through extensive discussions with my bible study group and some older, more experienced Christian friends of mine. If it weren't for fellowship and accountability I might still be pretty clueless. And I still have a lot more to learn. Thanks for stopping by!