Monday, 04 May 2009

• Currently It's a Green Thing (Diary of a Teenage Girl: Maya, Book 2) By Melody Carlson see related

  My life is definitely not a sitcom

  I just wasted the past hour of my life watching Roommates, which begs the question...what the heck has happened to ABC Family???!!!

  I'm going to put on my Mom Glasses for a moment to make this rant seem more appropriate...The word "family" should be somewhat of an indicator of the kind of content you'd expect to see...the ABC I remember showed re-runs of Full House, 7th Heaven, and Boy Meets World all the time, but Full House is on early in the morning, 7th Heaven got moved to the Hallmark Channel and Boy Meets World has been taken off the air completely. This doesn't make any sense! And here I used to think that Boy Meets World was a "risque" show...but you know what? Compared to today's standards, it's actually quite tame. Sure, Cory and Topanga (I used to want to legally change my name to Topanga!) made out a lot...but that's all they ever did! In fact, the one time Cory tried to go to second base with her, she got angry and avoided him for several days. They waited until they were married to have sex! Where's the restraint with today's popular tween shows, I wonder?

  So, rant about Roommates...now the thing about these here today, gone tomorow sitcoms is that they are so easy to pick up on even if you haven't seen the first few episodes. So what I was able to gather from only one hour is that 2 guys and 2 girls all live in one apartment, 1 guy and 1 girl hook up secretly, and yet are supposed to carry on as if nothing has changed. Skip ahead a few scenes and another guy hooks up with his high school ex girlfriend...the day before she's supposed to get married. I applaud the originality for this "twist" if you can even call it that...I could tell by the look on the ex girl's face, as she starts biting her lip while still naked in bed with her ex that she's about to tell him 1) She has HIV, 2) she's joining a convent and just wanted one last thrill before taking her final vows, or 3) she's getting married...TOMORROW. Yep, it was #3 all right. REALLY??!!! OMG NO WAY!! I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

  So I guess it should come as no surprise that the ex girl shows up at the ex guy's apartment -- in her wedding dress -- to tell him she ditched her fiance at the alter because *GASP* she's still in love with him, JUST as the ex guy was about to get back together with his OTHER ex girlfriend because he feels like a fool for hooking up with an engaged woman...you still following me? Did that make any sense at all? Are you mad that I just ruined the season finale for you? Oops...it's ok though. The same thing has probably been done to death on Sex and the City, Friends, The Hills, Gossip Girl...whatever.

  Anyway, yes I'm aware that casual sex is no big deal these days, but I still have a hard time buying that it's really THAT easy to just keep playing musical beds (like musical chairs) whenever it's convenient...see, in Sitcom Land, hearts may get broken, but they get fixed as soon as another cute guy/girl comes along who is willing to sleep off the pain with you...all within the last 15 minutes of the episode. But in Real World? Hearts get broken, and people get messed up. It's not that easy to just "bounce back," and substituting bed mates for anti-depressants (or even better, Jesus!) is only asking for more pain. And God forbid any of those characters suffer a pregnancy or STD scare...save for Secret Life, it doesn't seem like a common thing to worry about in Sitcom Land. I never even once heard anyone mention so much as a condom.

  However -- and I'm ashamed to admit this -- you can bet that I'm probably going to tune back in for the next season of Secret Life. I seriously think that show is an effective form of birth control for me...it has successfully scared the crap out of me and made me afraid to have kids, because God only knows what kind of moral mess the world will be in by the time THEY become teenagers...and meanwhile us old folks will be talking about Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter like our grandparents talk about typewriters, record players, and TVs with rabbit ears.

  *Takes off Mom Glasses* Ok, time to make some tea for my upset tummy and go to bed!

  Sarah Beth

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