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Friday, 01 April 2011

  • Currently
    The Lady Elizabeth: A Novel (Random House Reader's Circle)
    By Alison Weir
    see related

    Friiiidaayyy!

    So guess what guys...I got a new blog. Not that I don't think Xanga is cool anymore, but I've had it since 2005 and the username really shows it. I have what I now refer to as my 'professional' blog: http://sarahbethcaplin.blogspot.com/. So far all I have on it are all my columns from my school paper, but I'll add newer stuff later.

    I'll still be lurking around here though. I'll probably stick to random, sillier stuff than what I've been posting lately. If you actually want to read 'grown up' stuff, you can check out the new one. I'm still playing around with it.

     

    By far the best part of going home: having this little critter on my lap while I'm reading

    My_picture(1)

  • Currently
    Wreck of the Day
    By Anna Nalick
    Paper Bag
    see related

    Spring cleaning my life

    I'm supposed to be reading 'Lolita' for my Great Books class. 'Great book' that it may be (who comes up with the criteria for what a 'great book' is, anyway?), it repulses me and I want to throw it across the room with every chapter I'm forced to read. I don't want to get inside the mind of a pedophile. I don't want to know how he justifies it. I don't want to know how he wants to get with a 12 year old girl and considers killing her mother. I could really do without all that stuff.

    Will it kill me to read it? No...if anything, forcing myself to go outside my comfort zone *could* be a good thing...to an extent. I'm trying this experiment (which I hope will evolve into a lifestyle habit) where I abstain from any movie, TV show, book, or band that will make my mind go to 'bad places' Because honestly, I don't feel bad for being in this period of singleness if I'm not torturing myself with things that will just make me feel empty.

    I think more people would be amazed at how much easier it is to get some self-control if they stop filling their minds with MTV or anything similar. I've been convicted of how living 'chastely' (my old-school word for the day) is more than just a list of things you shouldn't do (because let's face it, when people think of chastity, they always think of what you're not supposed to do instead of what you should). It's about what you think about as well. And I, as a 22 year old college senior, will freely admit that my mind can use a spring cleaning. I need to start disposing of bad memories as well as questionable outlets of entertainment. What causes me to stumble might not be an issue for other people. Nonetheless, this is what I feel God is telling me lately. I need to start cleaning up my life.

    So I'm deleting a bunch of songs on my iPod that remind me of certain things. I'm no longer watching certain TV shows. I'm deleting old emails and messages from certain people who pressured me to compromise. It's a slow and painful process. I'm not quite where I need to be yet (actually, I'm extremely far from it). But I hope that one day I can get to a place where I no longer feel the weight of baggage carried from my 'former life,' pre-baptism and pre-legal name change. Hopefully one day I can forget all about that stuff. I know God already has.

     

    "Yeah, they talk about her. She smiles like she's so tough. She says 'Hey can you talk a little louder? I don't think my heart is broken enough"

    Oh, how I adore this album. New one coming out soon...finally! I swear Anna Nalick is living in my head.

     

    Someone has a coffee addiction, just like Mommy!

    luckysmocha

Thursday, 24 March 2011

  • Currently
    Goodbye Lullaby
    By Avril Lavigne
    Everybody Hurts
    see related

    Returning magic to the kiss

    In a world where hardly anything is scandalous anymore, the epitome of physical expressions of love have been reduced to sex or nothing. We have lost the sense of magic that can be found in small gestures.

    I remember being in sixth grade, longing for my first slow dance with a guy. A first kiss wasn't even on my mind yet; I just wanted my slow dance. When I finally did get to slow dance with someone I liked, I was on cloud 9 for weeks. My romantic milestones started small, and as I get older, I wish they could remain small. By the time I got my first kiss at 16, many people I knew were way beyond that. But for me, the magic of a first kiss, and any kiss shared with a person I was in a relationship with after that, meant something powerful to me.

    Kisses can be deeply romantic, or highly scandalous. But now, it seems as if kissing ranks very low on the Romantic Expression scale. I wonder why this is. Think of it this way: a person who has a one night stand is looking for pleasure, so chances are, he or she wouldn't spend so much time kissing before doing...well, other stuff. Kissing doesn't gratify in the same way that sex gratifies. We tend to reserve kissing for the people we truly love, yet at the same time, it is still considered a relatively minor act. It's simply not that big a deal anymore.

    I would like to see a revolution in the kissing department. We must bring the magic and meaning back into kissing!

    3639222581_09ca132937

    Where has the magic gone?

Sunday, 20 March 2011

  • Currently
    Redeeming Love
    By Francine Rivers
    see related

    Re-visiting my high school self

    Nothing like re-reading all your old journals and realizing how messed up your life was.

    I tried to write my life like a novel, which just made it more like a cross between Secret Life of the American Teenager and Gossip Girl...okay, maybe not quite as scandalous as Gossip Girl. But I was quite promiscuous with my emotions back then. I wouldn't say I was absolutely boy-crazy, but I felt things very deeply...well, actually I still do that. I had a lot less common sense back then, that's for sure. I hope that now I've actually learned from most of my high school screw-ups. Some of those unlearned mishaps lead to bigger college ones.

    I make myself do this every once in a while because it's the best way for me to track not only how I'm changing, but how certain relationships ended up in flames even though there were several clues I wrote down that just didn't make sense at the time. In what is, to date, the worst heart break I've ever felt, it's also reassuring to go back and read how I dealt with that once before, albeit on a lesser scale since I was only 16 at the time. I need to remind myself that I'm a lot more resilient than I think I am...

    ...but that doesn't mean I don't sometimes wish I could go back in time and slap my 16 and 17 year old self for being a silly, stupid girl. And maybe ten years from now I'll want to slap my current 22 year old self for being MORE stupid. I wouldn't ever go back to being a teenager again even if somebody paid me. Maybe I'll feel that way about every passing decade from now on.

    I know that making mistakes is what makes us who we are (to an extent) but I'm not convinced that that is the ONLY way I've ended up the person I am today. Is it really necessary to get hurt first before you can find real love? Is it really necessary to go down a wrong path in order to find the right one?

    So. Many. Questions.

    I should just leave the past alone already.

Friday, 18 March 2011

  • Currently
    21
    By Adele
    Set Fire to the Rain
    see related

    I wasn't born for the rose and pearl

    There was a time in my life when I would actually daydream of becoming a warrior -- the next Joan of Arc, if you will (minus the tragic execution). While I was a typical tweenager with idle crushes, the idea of marriage and family just seemed...too ordinary a goal for me.

    Now, at 22, marriage and family has been something I think about a lot, since it's becoming a reality for many of my friends right now. The idea of being a warrior now seems kind of lonely, if not a tad unrealistic.

    Well, I wish I felt that desire to be warrior-like again. I want to be more attracted to the idea of living a life that means something, rather than a life of comfort (they are not the same thing). If I desired marriage and family as a way of better understanding the relationship between God and the church, that would be a different story. But my priorities have been mixed up lately.

    I wish that my eyes could be opened so I can understand that the happiness this world is selling -- good looks, great sex sans actual commitment, fame with no talent required -- is nothing but a sham. If there is anything I've learned in the last year, particularly during the semester I spent in Italy, it's that chasing comfort and happiness in place of deep-seated joy (which has nothing to do with emotions) just leaves you empty. A life that means something isn't always comfortable or pleasurable. I have nothing against comfort or pleasure, so long as those things do not take precendence over making an actual impact.

    If I am meant to find love, I'll find it on God's terms, not mine. What I want isn't always what I need. I can't covet the love that other people have found because it's likely that they are at a different spiritual level than I am...maybe I'll get there, maybe I won't. But if I do, as I said, it will be because of what God wants for me, not what I want for myself. When my own plans succeed, I screw everything up. That is the cold, hard fact of my life.

    I don't want to be broken, jealous, or empty anymore. I've finally reached a place where I just want whatever it is I am meant to have.

    Has anyone else ever felt this way?

sarahzthoughts

  • Visit sarahzthoughts's Xanga Site
    • Name: Sarahbeth
    • Location: United States
    • Birthday: 11/14/1988
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/1/2005

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About Me

  • I want to be someone that future generations of children will read about in their history books.

Chatboard (3)

  • sarahzthoughts
    @StephanieP@revelife - I was in Florence for 5 months this year, caught the travel bug and now I'm dying to go back! I went all over Italy, and then some of France, England, and Germany. I'm trying to find a way back next summer, but I'm slightly broke
  • StephanieP@revelife
    Where/when was your semester in Italy? Sounds fantastic!
  • gene546
    I’ am open minded person though, I hold fast in my position as Christian; I was close to become a priest but, I got married. Matrimony was, is, and it will be my vocation. However, I have three B.A.’s from the Franciscan Seminary; Natural Philosophy, Theology and the last one it’s too complicated to
    • Posted 1/5/2010 9:18 PM
    • by gene546